[Clayart] (no subject)

[Sharon Cary]

Couldn’t help it. I laughed at all of them. 

S.Cary -
Make something beautiful every day. 
Sent from my iPad

> On Apr 18, 2018, at 4:35 AM, Deborah M. D. Kaplan <debkaplan3 at msn.com> wrote:
> 
> Thanks for making me laugh
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
>> On Apr 17, 2018, at 10:11 PM, Edouard Bastarache <edouardb at colba.net> wrote:
>> 
>> 1.
>> The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
>> He acquired his size from too much pi.
>> 
>> 2.
>> I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island,
>> But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
>> 
>> 3.
>> She was only a whisky-maker,
>> But he loved her still.
>> 
>> 4.
>> A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class,
>> Because it was a weapon of math disruption.
>> 
>> 5.
>> No matter how much you push the envelope,
>> It'll still be stationery.
>> 
>> 6.
>> A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
>> And was cited for littering.
>> 
>> 7.
>> A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
>> Would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
>> 
>> 8.
>> Two silk worms had a race.
>> They ended up in a tie.
>> 
>> 9.
>> A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.
>> The police are looking into it.
>> 
>> 10.
>> Time flies like an arrow.
>> Fruit flies like a banana.
>> 
>> 11.
>> Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>> 
>> 12.
>> Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
>> One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
>> 
>> 13.
>> I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
>> Then it hit me.
>> 
>> 14.
>> A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
>> 'Keep off the Grass.'
>> 
>> 15.
>> The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison
>> Was a small medium at large.
>> 
>> 16.
>> The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
>> Is now a seasoned veteran.
>> 
>> 17.
>> A backward poet writes inverse.
>> 
>> 18.
>> In a democracy it's your vote that counts.
>> In feudalism it's your count that votes.
>> 
>> 19.
>> When cannibals ate a missionary,
>> They got a taste of religion.
>> 
>> 20.
>> If you jumped off the bridge in Paris,
>> You'd be in Seine.
>> 
>> 21.
>> A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane.
>> The stewardess says, 'I'm sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
>> 
>> 22.
>> Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
>> One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
>> 
>> 23.
>> Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
>> Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
>> 
>> 24.
>> Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.'
>> The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
>> 
>> 25.
>> Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
>> His goal: transcend dental medication.
>> 
>> 26.
>> There was a person who sent ten puns to friends,
>> With the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
>> No pun in ten did.
>> 
>> 
>> ---
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