[Clayart] mel's story

Julie Brooks juliebrooksclay at gmail.com
Tue Aug 13 18:01:23 EDT 2019


Big hugs for you Mel. Alzheimer’s took my Grandmother. Her living
arrangements were not nearly as cool as what you arranged for your lady.
Giant hugs for you. One day, I think they will see us again.
Julie Brooks

On Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 2:16 PM mel jacobson <melpots at mail.com> wrote:

> let me add some thoughts.
> i have spent a great deal of time
> with the staff at Augustana Home where
> sharlene is housed.  the woman that is
> in charge of the `fourth` floor has been director
> of that floor for 19 years.  she loves her job.
> many of the staff nurses have been there for over twenty.
>
> i listen to the women that run the place.  i take there advise.
> and, they seem to be stunned when i ask for instructions.
>
> for example.  i asked `how in the hell do i bring her in for the first
> time...and leave her?  i said...`i will follow your system`.  she said
> `no one ever asks`.  so...she said..`bring her here on thursday, at exactly
> 10:30 a.m. (that was 10 months ago.)  park at the no parking curb, do not
> check in,
> tell her she is going to a special hospital for tests for her alzms, then
> push the hidden button for the elevator behind the ivy...come up the
> elevator
> at  exactly 10:30 a.m. `  i did that, the doors opened and there was
> nadira,
> with six tables full of food and other patients...she ran to sharlene,
> hugged her
> and said...`oh my its sharlene, we have been waiting for you to start our
> party!`  nadira looked
> at me and said...`push the down button, and do not come back til i tell
> you.`
>
> nadira called me three weeks later and said `come today for ten
> minutes..sharlene
> is in a groove, loves her room and eats very well.  she does not miss you.`
> i went for ten minutes.  nadira said, `ok, have family visit now and
> then..stay
> ten minutes...do not show her pictures, tell her family stories and esp do
> not tell
> her about deaths and friends.  keep it simple.  we did that.
>
> sharlene is an ideal patient. she does not remember any of us. she loves
> meals and
> loves her room.  she now lives there, it is her place.
>
> what we all have to fight is GUILT.  I DID NOT CAUSE HER CONDITION, so i
> must
> help her learn to love where she lives. i am doing that.  it is other
> people
> that ask me all the time `do you go all the time to see sharlene?...i lie.
> i do show up for all staff meetings about sharlene, i bring mugs and
> things for
> the staff. nadira has a new teapot with matching cups...the director of
> admissions got one too.  i fuss over the staff that takes care of my wife.
> i have not complained once.
> mel
> i hope this story sinks in to some of you that are facing this ordeal.
> p.s.  last month as i was walking to sharlene's room i saw a sign
> pinned to the wall inside a room with big letters..DAD IS DEAD....see what
> i mean.?
> remember, the professional staff cannot tell family what to do or say. or
> when
> to visit...they can only give advise when asked...period.
>
>
>
> website: www.melpots.com
>
> --
Julie Brooks, Sculptor & Graphic Artist
909-538-6218 (my digital office)
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