[Clayart] mel's story

Sharon Wetherby wetherby.ss at gmail.com
Thu Aug 15 22:49:50 EDT 2019

Mel, Because my husband has Huntington's Disease, his physical and mental
health is in decline.  We both have our good days and bad days.  Your
caring story was a comfort to me today.

- Sharon Wetherby
Fort Worth, TX

On Tue, Aug 13, 2019 at 4:16 PM mel jacobson <melpots at mail.com> wrote:

> let me add some thoughts.
> i have spent a great deal of time
> with the staff at Augustana Home where
> sharlene is housed.  the woman that is
> in charge of the `fourth` floor has been director
> of that floor for 19 years.  she loves her job.
> many of the staff nurses have been there for over twenty.
> i listen to the women that run the place.  i take there advise.
> and, they seem to be stunned when i ask for instructions.
> for example.  i asked `how in the hell do i bring her in for the first
> time...and leave her?  i said...`i will follow your system`.  she said
> `no one ever asks`.  so...she said..`bring her here on thursday, at exactly
> 10:30 a.m. (that was 10 months ago.)  park at the no parking curb, do not
> check in,
> tell her she is going to a special hospital for tests for her alzms, then
> push the hidden button for the elevator behind the ivy...come up the
> elevator
> at  exactly 10:30 a.m. `  i did that, the doors opened and there was
> nadira,
> with six tables full of food and other patients...she ran to sharlene,
> hugged her
> and said...`oh my its sharlene, we have been waiting for you to start our
> party!`  nadira looked
> at me and said...`push the down button, and do not come back til i tell
> you.`
> nadira called me three weeks later and said `come today for ten
> minutes..sharlene
> is in a groove, loves her room and eats very well.  she does not miss you.`
> i went for ten minutes.  nadira said, `ok, have family visit now and
> then..stay
> ten minutes...do not show her pictures, tell her family stories and esp do
> not tell
> her about deaths and friends.  keep it simple.  we did that.
> sharlene is an ideal patient. she does not remember any of us. she loves
> meals and
> loves her room.  she now lives there, it is her place.
> what we all have to fight is GUILT.  I DID NOT CAUSE HER CONDITION, so i
> must
> help her learn to love where she lives. i am doing that.  it is other
> people
> that ask me all the time `do you go all the time to see sharlene?...i lie.
> i do show up for all staff meetings about sharlene, i bring mugs and
> things for
> the staff. nadira has a new teapot with matching cups...the director of
> admissions got one too.  i fuss over the staff that takes care of my wife.
> i have not complained once.
> mel
> i hope this story sinks in to some of you that are facing this ordeal.
> p.s.  last month as i was walking to sharlene's room i saw a sign
> pinned to the wall inside a room with big letters..DAD IS DEAD....see what
> i mean.?
> remember, the professional staff cannot tell family what to do or say. or
> when
> to visit...they can only give advise when asked...period.
> website: www.melpots.com
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